Dear Donovan: Is it possible for a male who is bisexual to truly love and commit to a female?
Dear A. Augustus: Yes, it is possible. A person’s ability to truly love and commit is not contingent on their sexual orientation, it is based on maturity. As we are coming of age, we pass through that phase of self-discovery. With the saturation of sexual overtones, of every nature, on television, our computers, the radio, in print ads, in our schools, workplace and social gathering spots, it is my belief that everyone has had thoughts or been curious about homosexual behavior and interaction at some point in their life. Whether they enacted up that thought process or curiosity is irrelevant to this topic at hand. Many have experimented and as they have come into their own and developed preferences for their lives they decide what lifestyle works best for them and what is of no interest. Some embrace homosexuality wholeheartedly having no intimate interest in the opposite sex at all while others are solely attracted to the opposite sex. A bisexual simply means an individual is sexually attracted to and can be aroused by either gender. When a bisexual person falls in love with another human, be it the same or opposite sex, they fall in love with that human being, the part that can’t be seen with the human eyes, but felt with the heart. Since the bisexual individual is physically and sexually attracted to both genders, they work with whatever body parts their significant other comes with.
Just because a heterosexual person says “I love you”, pledges to commit their life to someone forever and says all the things their partner wishes to hear does not mean they are in love with them or is one hundred percent committed to pursuing the ultimate happiness for the both of their lives. It simply could mean that they are an immature, selfish individual who desires only to have sexual relations with the opposite sex, reap whatever other self-serving benefits they can get from that union and enjoy it for as long as it last or until their partner no longer serves their purpose or desires. No one person if going to fulfill one hundred percent of your preferences and desires….male or female, as you cannot fulfill one hundred percent of anyone else’s preferences and desires. Maturity mobilizes us to have self-restraint from only seeking out our own selfish pleasures and desires from some the next person. It causes one to use sound reasoning. The sacrifices and compromises one makes within a commitment for their partner far outweighs the temporary gratification of seeking out his/her own pleasure. When a person matures, then, and only then, can they truly love and be committed to their partner, be it of the same or opposite sex. A committed love relationship between two people is an investment. Effective communication between a couple is imperative for the growth, survival and longevity of a relationship. It will promote and sustain the mental, physical and spiritual fibers within each one of us.
When a person is diagnosed as a diabetic, they are told of the harm that sodium and sugar can have on the quality of their life. They must make the decision as to whether they will eliminate or dramatically reduce the intake of those ingredients. Does it mean they no longer like salt and sugar? No, not at all. It essentially means they have made the conscious decision to change their lifestyle… form new habits. They realize that making that sacrifice or compromise greatly improves the quality of their life. So it is with a bisexual. He or she may change or refrain from participating in things they once did, however, it does not mean that they no longer like or enjoy those things, but they are willing to make the conscious decision to alter their lifestyle for the one they truly love and are committed to knowing that in doing so, it greatly improves the quality of their life.